Happy Birthday Reed

It's been a rough weekend (and it's only friday!) I've been sick and completely waylaid and Reed has had to pick up the pieces. He and Scott even cooked the turkey together. Although it may not have been his ideal birthday this weekend has cemented what I've guessed all along; I married a truly wonderful, compassionate and fun man.

Happy Birthday Reed, I love you! (I promise I'll get your presents wrapped next year :)

Like father, like son

Although I at least have some part in Grayson's genetics and personality, it's clear his heart is all Reed. Tonite as I snuck in to check on my sleeping Gray I was more than slightly amused to hear him sleep talking (definitely a Kendall trait). As I leaned closer he mumbled "Daddy's car, Daddy's car". I guess it's perfectly clear who the rock star in this house is :)

Happy Birthday Baby Gray!

Here is one of the main reasons that I can find the "invincible summer" even in the depth of winter. I always find it ironic that we celebrate Gray's birthday and Elle's death within hours of each. And yet, I think that was exactly how it was supposed to be. We're so lucky to have such a pleasant, sweet little man in our family. A little man whose favorite past-time is declaring things "funny" and chuckling to himself. Reminding us all how great life truly is.

Happy Birthday Grayson, Gray. We love you.

Our Sweetheart Sunshine

***Warning: In a departure from this blogger's usual style this post may contain few pictures, border on verbose and may even reveal deep, dark feelings***

Six years ago, today, our sweet Elle left us to return to her Heavenly Father for a time. In the past six years I have felt more joy, sorrow, peace and hope than I would've thought possible.

Throughout Elle's life I felt an overwhelming sense of hope. Since Elle's death I have become fascinated with this concept of hope. Much more elusive than faith and yet just as important in the trifecta of "faith, hope, and charity" I have struggled to understand why I was given this gift.

This past conference Elder Uchtdorf spoke on The infinte power of hope. As I realized the subject matter of his talk I was touched as my prayers and study of the past six years were answered. In his talk he defined hope as "Not the knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God's laws...we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered." Throughout her life, we prayed desperately for Elle to recieve a new heart. And I felt hope, even confidence that she would. I now see that what I felt, and was blessed with, was an assurance that God was listening to our prayers, my prayers. The tender and pleading prayers of a mother that her precious daughter be made whole.

Although those prayers were not answered in the time or manner that I desperately desired I have no doubt that they will be answered. "No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations. 'Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heard of man the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

The next time I see Elle she will be whole. My daughter's heart will be perfect and she will be mine, she will be mine forever.

This is what I have hope for, this is what I have hope in; the atonement and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ. A miracle so glorious, so eternal that it encompasses all other miracles and allows me to "make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope...as one writer expressed 'in the depth of winter we find within us the invincible summer."

Our precious, perfect daugther, Elle

Happy Halloween!!!

We had a wonderful Halloween made even more special and fun by a visit from Grandma Diane and Grandpa Don. The boys were thrilled to have them here for the festivities and I think we packed a weeks worth of activites/cuddles/wrestling into 4 days.